The Leah Hall Of Fame for Bad Days and Nights
by Christiluvn
Summary: Just when Leah Clearwater think life can't get any worse... it does and quickly. Jacob Black has just left the pack, she has some desisions to make and fast.
1. The Day Sam's Music Died

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight or any of the characters associated with Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does.

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**A/N: **The story takes place during Breaking Dawn. Jacob has just discovered that Bella is pregnant. The fic is rated M, for language.

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***Chapter 1***

**The Day Sam's Music Died**

Leah's POV

Why does life have to be so bad, and why does my life have to be the queen of fucking bad. It wasn't always like this. I just woke up one morning and God decided to open the clouds and say "I hate you, Leah Clearwater."Tonight was no exception. Actually tonight went in the Leah Clearwater Hall Of Fame for Shitty Nights.

Bella came back from her honeymoon a few days ago, still human may I add. But it turns out that Mrs. Leechlover managed to get herself impregnated with the spawn of Freak-a-zoid Cullen. I found this very amusing at first, and then the Jacob's feelings and memories overcame me. I couldn't help but to feel bad for the little prick. We were expecting Bella to come home (that is if she came home) as a vampire, but this just shocked the howl out of a wolf, and confirmed my theories the Bella Swan (or Cullen, whatever the fuck she was calling herself nowadays) is a complete IDIOT.

While Jacob went all "Days of Our Lives" on us, I was trying to figure out how the hell she got that much pregnant, that fast. I have to admit my mind drifted until Sam started talking about attacking. Tonight. We were at the cliff working on our attack plan but all I could think about was my mother and Seth. I knew we would have to go into war someday (come on we're werewolves and vampires are our natural born enemies, we only exist to destroy them) but wasn't there a way we could possibly exclude my dweeb brother.

Seth was torn apart as it was. He had started a bro-mance with Edward Cullen last year, when we had to fight that stupid redhead and her army of dumbasses. Now it had grown into a full love affair with not only Freak-a-zoid but with the entire Cullen coven, and that's because mom always told us not to talk to smart ass Victorian wantabes. But leave it to my brother to sleep with the enemy.

"_Shut up, Leah_," Seth yelled, clearly hearing my previous thoughts. "_Just because you hate the Cullens, doesn't mean its right to kill an innocent baby_."

"_I never said I thought it was righ…"_

"_Seth it doesn't matter if you or Leah thinks it right or wrong, we will do what is best for our people and __**YOU WILL HELP US ATTACK THE CULLENS AND GET KILL WHATEVER BELLA IS CARRYING**__." _

My brother fell as Sam's alpha command took over. It was hard to see my brother whimpering on the ground. I swear sometimes Sam can be a real dick, I know that he's The Alpha and shit but Seth is young and stupid he can at least cut him a little slack.

"_Are you gonna start too?" _Sam questioned, and of course it's not like me to keep my fat mouth shut.

"_Well you don't have to be such an asshole; he's just a little kid. Do you always have to have him on the ground begging for your royal assness?" _

"Leah, why do you always have to be so difficult?"

"_because what kind of a sister would I be if I let any Dick- in- Command boss my broth…"_

"_**What if I don't want to follow you're command?"**_

Sam and I both turned around as we felt the Alpha voice vibrate through our bodies. For a minute I thought it was Seth but as I looked over to him I noticed that Sam still held him to the ground. I noticed as Paul, Jared, Embry, and Quil all were staring at Jacob Black with shock. Had Jacob really done it? How did he manage to pull off that incredibly strong ALPHA voice?

"_**You will do what I say, Jacob"**_, Sam (while still gaining back his manliness) commanded,

This was getting good. Jacob didn't even shriek. I know that Jacob has Alpha blood in him; everyone knows he is the true descendent of Ephraim Black, Chief of the Quileute Tribe. But Jake didn't want it. Was his love for Bella that strong?

"_No, you're wrong Sam. I will not attack the Cullens without warning. Ephraim Black's great grandson was never supposed to take orders from Levi Uley's."_

Damn.

Everyone watched in horror.

"_**Jacob what have you done?"**_

Jake just turned around and left. Like nothing. None of us had ever seen anything like this. Sam looked like if someone had crashed into him. Quil and Embry started howling like if they just had their hearts ripped out. The rest of the packed (including me) just seemed shocked.

My brother looked dazed as he got up from the floor. He had the same look he had when he was five and he had lost his teddy bear. Jake was his best friend. But his pain was different from Quil and Embry's, and they had been Jake's friends forever.

Out of nowhere Seth looks up. He looks at me with pleading eyes, but he doesn't seem to be thinking anything.

"_What's wrong Seth? Are you hurt?" _

Silence

"_Seth, tell me what's wrong"_

Sam notices my worry and turns to Seth.

"_**Seth don't"**_

That's when I realized. Seth wasn't being oddly quiet. I couldn't hear his thoughts anymore. I just stood there as Seth turned and followed Jake into the woods.

"_**Seth I command you to stop. Come back now."**_

I just stood there in disbelief as my brother, my little Seth, ran away from our Alpha. Ignoring all commands. This was so not Seth-like. I was jealous. How did he do that? Ever since I joined this God awful pack I was trying to find a way out, a way to stop this insane excuse for a life, a way to stop having all my emotions, feeling, and thoughts shared with prepubescent little turps. To get the hell away from him.

Sam and the rest of the pack howled for about another five minutes, some out of hurt, and others out of anger. With the exception of Paul, stupid ass seemed downright gitty that Jacob had left, probably thinking that with Jake gone he was that much closer to becoming Sam's Beta, anything to kiss Sam's ass. Dickhead.

I had had enough of this night. I wanted to go home.

"_Leah"_

I turned to look at Sam.

"_Where are you going?"_

"_Cool it; I'm going home…. to tell my mom about Seth."_

He kept staring at me. Like if he was trying to figure out what I was really thinking. Retard like if he wasn't in my head all the damn time.

He gave me an angered look as I turned around and left.

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**A/N:** Thank you for reading my story. Please R&R. It's my first fic, so please be gentle. I will update as fast as I can. But to let you know this will be a **Blackwater Fic** because it's the only way to go. TTFN


	2. The Betrayal of The Subconscious

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters associated with Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does.

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**A/N:** Thank you for your reviews, I really appreciated them. I'm thinking that most chapters (I don't know how may yet) will be in Leah POV. Maybe a couple in Jacob's but I'm not sure. But like I said Blackwater is the only way to go.

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***Chapter 2***

**The Betrayal of the Subconscious**

I opened the door to my house, all the lights were out. My mom has already gone to bed. I was pleased that I wouldn't have to explain about Seth until tomorrow.

I ran into my room. I really needed a shower. As I undressed, I turned on the water, running my hand in to test the temperature. My mind drifted off as I felt the warn water under my fingertips. My life seemed to be getting worse and worse. I still can't believe that my brother was gone. Sam gave me this big lecture on how Jacob and Seth have abandoned the pack, the tribe, our ancestors, all the Roman and Greek Gods and Lord knows who else.

But it was hard to think that Jacob was now known as some kind of criminal, nevertheless Seth. The dweeb has never been angry a day in his life. He went from an unofficial Girl Scout to a La Push criminal. That's gonna look great on his college resume.

But I still couldn't help thinking about how they managed to leave.

I stepped out of the shower and dried off. I started getting ready for bed. It was already three o' clock in the morning. I laid down knowing that I wouldn't sleep if my life depended on it. I started to think about Jacob. He was just some stupid immature boy who somehow grew balls overnight. Did Bella have that power? Did he really love the leech lover that much, and if he did why didn't he imprint on her. Now he has left his home, his family to follow and protect her when she already belongs to someone else. I mean she's married for shits sake.

Who the fuck does she think she is? Leading Jacob on all this time when all she wanted was blood sucking ice-cubes. Even after she got married she still insisted on having him on his puppet strings amusing herself and all those bloodsucking leeches.

"Poor Jacob"

As I heard myself say that reality crashed into me, what the hell did I mean poor Jacob? I don't give a hillbilly ass about Jacob Black, and as far as I was concerned he can remain being that stupid soon to be blood sucking runt's dog. See if I care.

That was it I was getting to dramatic. I had to force myself to get some sleep. I turned off the lamp and shut my eyes waiting for me to fall into slumber.

…_It took me a while to realize that I was dreaming. I saw myself in the distance. I didn't remember why I was there. But I remember more and more as the hurt swept into my chest. I felt like dying, I was having trouble breathing. All of a sudden I wasn't looking at myself from a distance, I was me, and I remembered why I was here, why I felt like burying myself alive. Then I heard him…_

…_.." Leah, what are you doing up here?"_

"_Just leave me alone Jacob Black, I mean it."_

_Jacob as usual ignored me and came to sit next to me. I was supposed to be hiding. I was in my favorite part of the woods, a rock next to the river where you can see the most awesome sunset, whenever it was clear enough for us to see the sun. We sat in silence for a while. I didn't feel at all like talking nevertheless with Rach and Becca's annoying little brother. _

"_Lee-Lee… what's wro..."_

"_Don't ever call me that Black, do you hear me, what the fuck do you want anyway?"_

_He just stared at me. He always had these puppy dog eyes that I can swear you can see straight into his soul. I felt a little sorry for yelling at him. The kid was alright I guess. _

"_I'm sorry, Leah" he said. "Sue and Harry are worried, there at my house talking to Billy about what happened…. Eh... I'm really sorry Leah… I know you really love hi…._

"_Jake…. Please don't." That's all I managed to say. I couldn't understand why my heart felt so hot and so cold at the same time. I started to heavy breathe. I felt like if I was going to cry, but not one tear came out. _

"_I don't know too much about what you are feeling and I know I'm probably the last person you want to talk to, but… if any man is really that stupid to leave somebody as beautiful and great as you Leah, then they can go straight to hell. He'll be sorry, and I swear I'll show him how sorry he will be. "_

_I couldn't help myself, I burst into laughter. Jacob Black looking at me like if I had completely lost it. As I continued to laugh, he started to laugh with me. Idiot didn't even know why I was laughing. For all he knew I saw dead people and found it hilarious. We continued for a few minutes more._

"_What's so funny?" he finally asked._

"_You"_

"_Me"_

"_Yeah you"_

"_Why?"_

"_Listen kid, I appreciate that you care for my well being, but your freshman ass wouldn't stand a chance against Sam Uley." _

_Jacob's smile slowly disappeared. He looked irritated, then mad, then sad. By the time I knew it he had those puppy dog eyes again. We sat in silence for what seemed like years. But Jacob never said a word. I felt a little better with him hear. Like if he released some kind of … peace. _

"_Why do you care so much anyway Black?" I know I sounded harsh but I didn't feel like being nice, not even if he was making me feel better. _

"_You're my friend Leah, more than a friend… like a sister. I'll always care for you and no matter how many people destroy you or leave you or kick you to the ground… I'll always be here Leah… to pick you up… to help you… or just to sit next to you on a rock for an hour." _

_I couldn't help but to smile. So it had only been an hour not years. I realized how Jacob had grown since last year. I guess he had somewhat matured. Jacob was always really sweet and kind and warm. I started to run my hand through his arm. He didn't seem to mind. He looked pleased. I quickly clenched my hands on the back of his neck and brought Jacob Black's head to mine. We lightly kissed… it was so passionate it was so loving, like if I loved Jacob Black my whole life and was waiting for him…._

That was enough. I snapped my wide open like a caffeine junkie high on Red-Bulls.

"What the fuck was that?" I asked myself as I recalled the dream (or nightmare). That never happened. I remembered Jacob practically confessing his stalker-ness to me. But I never kissed him. He never kissed me. We never kissed.

I can't believe that my subconscious had betrayed me like that. I glanced over to the nightstand next to my bed. It was four in the morning. Only four hours into a new day and it was already shitty. That has to be some kind of record.

I lay on my bed for a few more minutes. Thinking about what happened last night and about that God awful dream. Seth couldn't even cross the road without adult supervision and he had decided to go all gangster with … Jacob … and protect those bloodsucking wantabe Sopranos of a family.

I can't let this happen. Seth will get himself into trouble… or killed. My mom could never get over that (we still couldn't talk about dad out loud without her getting teary eyed), I could never get over that.

Before I could think about anything else, I grabbed a overnight bag, packed some clothes for me and Seth, wrote a letter to mom and headed out the door.

It's not like if the pack liked me very much. They didn't like me at all.

They won't even notice that I'm gone.

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**A/N:** Thank you again for all your reviews and for just simply reading the story. I hope you liked the chapter. Please R&R. Thanks again. TTFN


	3. The National Day of Smirking Oddly

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight or any of the characters associated with Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does.

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**A/N:** Thank you for all your great reviews, for adding the story as a favorite and always thank you for reading.

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***Chapter 3***

**The National Day of Smirking Oddly at Leah**

I took off on foot. I didn't want to risk phasing and someone catching me.

As I walked through one of the two streets in La Push I couldn't help but to feel this weird high. Was I really doing it? Finally? Was I getting away, gaining a chance for freedom, for peace? I wasn't so sure. But just getting the hell away from him, and the pack, and Emily (and all those stupid lunatic people who would say "Oh, Sam you sure scored a winner with Emily…. But poor Leah"), would do wonders.

Just as I stepped out of La Push, a small black car approached me. It was Billy Black. What was he doing up so early, it couldn't be more the four-thirty in the morning? Dawn was still a good two hours away.

"Morning, Lee"

My father always called me Lee; I guess he got it from him.

"Morning"

"Where are you off too so early?"

My mind said "lie", but Billy's face said "I know everything". Then I realized I had no idea where I was going. I was planning on catching Seth's scent… _or Jacob's._ But I had no idea where the renegades had gone.

"Er… Well, I'm going to Forks"

I lied.

"Oh… "

I didn't like that "oh", but at least he didn't ask "why".

"For what"

Spoke to soon.

"Well… I was thinking about going to go see a friend of mine… and maybe spend the night over there."

I didn't even believe my own fuckin lie.

"I never knew you had friends in Forks."

"Well… I do."

"Why you walkin?"

"Well… I just feel like walking"

"Forks is about fifthteen miles away, why don't you phase"

"Well… I want to enjoy the benefits of being human"

I was getting pissed off. What was this? Were we playing fuckin 20 questions?

"You know Lee… me and your dad were really good friends. We talked about everything, and I remember him telling me that he always knew when you were lying because you would always start the sentence with "Well"."

He chuckled. Old paralyzed fool may he be damned to hell for knowing too much about me. And I don't start all my sentences with "Well".

"What do you want Billy?"

See, I didn't say "well".

"I just wanted to ask if you needed a ride."

This old man knew more then what he was sharing. How did he know I would need a ride at four in the morning? Was the old man a stocker? Did he wheel himself to my window every night and watch me sleep?

Ewe… gross.

This was Billy Black, my dad's oldest friend, _Jacob's_ dad. He was in bed by eight thirty unless there was a game on.

He was still starting at me as I came back to earth

"Sure" I said as I opened the passenger door.

He drove. I never told him where I was going, that would be hard since I didn't even know either. Nothing was being said, all you can hear was the radio softly playing a Johnny Cash song. I didn't know which one because I was never a country fan, but I knew it was him because I saw that movie with Reese Witherspoon.

"So… you're going after my boy?"

Was he insane?

"What are you talking about?"

"You know… you leaving… after my boy… to be with him."

I was gonna have to ask Becca and Rach to have him committed.

"NO, I'M NOT GOING AFTER YOUR FUCKIN EXCUSE FOR A MAN SON, NO, I'M NOT LEAVING LA PUSH TO BE WITH HIM OR HIS ,STUPID LEECH LOVING, I'M TO WEAK TO BE ALPHA, SO I'LL LET THE DOUCH BAG OF THE WORLD TAKE OVER, ATTITUDE."

I was heavy breathing. Billy just looked at me and smirked. What the fuck was so funny.

"I'm… going… for… my… brother."

Billy was still smirking.

"Right, I'm sure you thought it thru completely. You probably had your mind made up before Jake did. I understand, believe me or not. If you let Jake know I love him and keep an eye on him, let me know when he's in too much trouble. I'll return the favor to you by doing the same with your mom. I'll even try to make her understand a little more as to why you and Seth left."

He was still annoyingly smiling. But I liked his deal. I needed someone to check up on mom… keep her company. I know it mustn't be easy without dad, let alone, without us.

"O.K"

That was the last we said as he pulled over. I knew exactly where we were.

Cullen Manor

There was no turning back. I had done it. I had officially left my pack, my home, and was about to cross enemy lines.

"Good luck, Lee. I'm counting on you to keep your brother and my Jacob safe."

I just nodded my head as he drove off back to La Push.

As I walked through the drive of Cullen Manor (which was about a mile long), I was trying to figure out my battle plan. What if Seth or…

I couldn't even say his name anymore. I had to deal with last night's nightmare and get the hell over it. I couldn't phase and have them see that. They would laugh.

A few months ago Embry saw the head leeches themselves… that goody goody doctor (I forget his name) and his wife in Port Angeles. That night he had some really queer sexual dream about the doc's wife. We laughed our asses off for about three months. I can imagine how it will go for me… nightdreaming about… _Jacob._

I wasn't grossed out (which is surprising), I was more freaked out. Why the hell was I having dreams like that about … _Jacob? _Whatever happened to those weird dreams about me screwing Adam Sandler? Those were weird but at least I could handle them.

Before I could figure out my little problem, I had arrived to the Cullen house. Standing about 100 yards from me was the huge bloodsucker (wonder if steroids are affective on vamps) and at the doorway was the blond leech (He looked like if he had something far up his ass).

Mr. Steroids was just looking at me with almost the same smirk Billy had. What was up with people and/or leeches smirking at me today?

"Edward said it sounded like you. But I didn't believe him… Are you here to attack us because that's kind of stupid… you know you're alone and in human form… I'd assumed you'd give us a better challenge."

Was this dumbass serious?

"Wow I didn't know bloodsuckers that take to many steroids and are now getting man-boobs, assumed anything."

He busted out laughing. I could see Blondie chuckling from the doorway. Great bloodsuckers with a sense of humor.

"You're funny."

"Yeah, Yeah… I'm looking for Jacob and my brother, asshole. Are they here or not?"

"That's funny because yesterday I was telling Jaz that…"

"Did you not hear me retard, are you deaf?"

"It's impolite to interrupt someone while they're speaking."

"It's also impolite to kill someone and suck the shit out of them?"

"We don't suck the shi…"

"IS JACOB HERE OR NOT, BLOODSUCKER?

He looked at me like if he was a kid in a toy store and started laughing again.

"You know… you have quit a temper."

"FUCK YOU. WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO BACK TO WHATEVER ASSHOLE YOU CAME OUT OF."

"Hahahahaha…. I didn't come out of any assh…"

"Emmett, that's enough."

"Carlisle you have to come and meet this mutt, she's hilarious."

I couldn't take it anymore. I was going to explode.

DON'T… CALL… ME… A… MUTT…

I felt my clothes rip to shreds as I fell, my paws hitting the ground, my jet black hair turning into silvery grey fur. I growled in anger, as I positioned myself to the attack. But the wonderful Leech Doctor of the Century interrupted…

"Please… we mean you no harm. I will take care of my son. Jacob is in the woods about a half mile out. He is probably resting due to his patrol last night. Please… I apologize for my son getting you so upset."

Fuck that leech doctor for being so nice, he can join Billy in hell.

I nodded my giant grey head and turned to catch Jacob's scent. As I stepped into the woods I heard that asshole of a bloodsucker speak.

"See Yah later… Alligator"

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**A/N:** I bet you didn't expect Embry to be having sex dreams about Esme. LOL. I hope you liked the chapter. Please R&R. I will try to update soon. TTFN


	4. No Sarcasm Intended

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight or any of the characters associated with Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does.

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**A/N:** Thanks again for the comments and for reading. But I'm here to warn you, **this chapter is dramatic**, but you understand Leah a lot more. Enjoy.

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***Chapter 4***

**No Sarcasm Intended**

I was walking for only a few seconds when I heard Seth running around the perimeter. He wasn't thinking much it was more like if he was focusing on the run. He must be doing patrols. There was no sign of _Jacob._

I ran after Seth hoping to surprise him. I felt it where he froze as he heard my paws tumbling into the ground. He remained frozen like a panicked pup, and then began howling. What was this dweeb doing? Did he actually think I was going to attack him?

By this point I could clearly hear Jacob coming on his way. I guess he was asleep and Seth's girlish whining woke him up.

_Morning, boys..._

They both seemed upset that I was here, and I was expecting a cake and flowers, maybe even a little campaign. Ha.

_Aw man, Leah… what are you doing here!_

Seth was actually not excited to see me and after I sewed the arm to his stuffed Elmo doll, five times because he kept feeding it to our cat. Ungrateful little dork. He will never see Elmo or any of this Sesame Street family again.

_Stop whining Seth. You're such a baby._

Jacob had finally arrived, Seth and I were showing each other just how much family meant to us. I was disappointed to discover that it obviously meant jack shit to him. Where had I gone wrong with this dweeb.

_What do you think you're doing, Leah? _

_It's pretty obvious isn't Jacob, I'm joining your crappy, nose picking, vampire guarding, renegade pack. Hahahahaha. This is going to be so great. We can stay up late… tell ghost stories… talk about our feelings… Hahahaha_

It was funny. I felt like if I was on some kind of sugar high. In my Sweet Sixteen party I had drank all the Lime Sherbet punch by myself. I went crazy. I danced the Macarena like 20 times, sang Man, I feel like a woman (karaoke style) like 10 times, and then I fell asleep on the dining room table.

_No, you're not. Turn around before I rip out one of your hamstrings._

Now, there was the warm welcome I was looking for.

_Oh Jake-y Poo, why do you make yourself believe such nonsense, you know you'll never catch me._

Jacob looked at me with kill on his face.

_Seth go to the Cullen's, let them know everything is ok, and have some breakfast, I'll handle this. _

_You're not going to kill her… are you Jake? Cause she's really not that bad, even though she always RUINS EVERYTHING. _

I was pleased. Seth did love me.

_No, I'm not gonna kill her, just go. _

Seth turned, without protesting, and headed for the Cullens. Jacob and I played the staring contest until we heard Seth phase.

_Why the hell are you here?_

_Did you think I was just going to sit back and let my brother become some vampire chew toy?_

_Seth doesn't even want you here, what makes you think he needs your protection?_

_Oh… I'm so hurt… should I crawl under a rock now or later. _

Jacob was getting annoyed, real annoyed. I could tell that he wasn't appreciating my sarcasm as much as I 'd like. Something was wrong. Jacob always had this pleasant vibe, like if he could light up a darken day. He was always so warm. But it was gone. He seemed… exhausted. He was in pain. He was hurting. Poor Jacob.

He must have heard my thoughts because he was looking at me curiously.

_Look Jake, I didn't come to make your life hard. Just tell me who… does want me around and I'm gone. _

_Thought you were here for Seth?_

_I am… But you don't know how it feels not being wanted, feeling like if you're not good enough, like a failure. And ever since this wolf thing, I have to belong to someone, don't think I haven't tried breaking off by myself. You know how that doesn't work. So… I choose you._

He looked almost scared that my thoughts were so low and sincere. I guess I do overdo the whole loud sarcastic bitch thing. Wow, we do learn something every day.

_Leah, you don't like me and you don't like vampires. Don't you think that's a little conflict of interest right there? _

_You don't like vampires either._

_But I'm committed to my alliance. You're not._

_I am committed to my alliance with you. I will not betray my pack._

_This isn't a pack Leah, why can't you and your brother see that. This is me… going off… on my own… So go back to Sam and I'll ship your brother out as soon as he comes back. _

_My allegiance is no longer with Sam. _

He just stared at me. I think he was going into some kind of shock.

_You're loyal to … me now_

_My options are limited; I'm working with what I've got… But…_

_But…You still love Sam. _

_NO, I don't… But… how would you feel… if the person you did love left you for a family member, your best friend, and you spent a long time trying to get over it, just to discover that they never loved you to begin with. Would you like it… hearing it… everyday… how your cousin is better then you in every way, and that you were a mistake, and they wish you would disappear. _

_I don't think Sam thinks…_

_Then along with that you find out you're a freak of nature, female wolf, and are forced to be in that person's mind along with the minds of his loyal disciples. Now, they think you should disappear because you're upsetting there All Mighty Alpha. Would you like it, Jacob? Would you stay there … knowing that by some miracle of God… there is now a way to get out?_

I realized a little too late that I had exposed way too much information and emotions. I don't remember the last time I felt like this. I headed towards a tree and sat down. I felt like crying. I could hear myself whimpering.

_Lee… Are you okay?_

Jacob's voice was incredibly soothing. The warmness about him was coming back. I felt like I was in a dream.

_Lee… I'm sorry… I didn't know._

_Oh course you didn't know, you were so caught up with your precious Bella that you wouldn't have noticed anything. _

Jacob looked at me with anger. Then it somehow fated into embarrassment

_Yeah… I guess I was._

Wow did he just admit his flaw. I didn't know the male species did that.

_But I'm sorry, please don't be sad._

_I'm not sad Jacob. Being here actually makes me feel better. Almost happy. I haven't felt like this in such a long time. I promise to stay out of your way. I'll work on controlling my temper. I'll stop talking out of my ass. I'll try to be nice to the bloodsuck… I mean Cullens. I'll run patrols, like Seth. I'll do anything you want, except go back to Sam's pack and be the pathetic ex-girlfriend he can't get away from. You know I used to be kind of nice, before I became an annoying bitch. _

_Leah… You're not that annoying._

Jake smiled. I had finally won the battle. I'm not going anywhere_. _

_Yeah Paul's still more annoying than me, huh. _

I laughed. Jacob just stared at me and he slowly began to smile.

_You know Lee; it's actually kind of nice to hear you laughing. I mean truly laughing, no sarcasm intended._

The war was definitely over.

_I'll tell you what if I promise to be less annoying then Paul; can I stay in your non-existent renegade pack?_

He thought about it for a second.

_Why are you asking? You're not leaving either way. _

_I was trying to be polite, and respect my Alpha's opinion… So grand Alpha of Alpha's do you want to race?_

I took off before he can answer. He followed after me. Jacob could never resist a race. But I had achieved my goal. Even though it was so much more dramatic than I had expected, I was now on Team Renegade.

Hell yeah.

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**A/N:** I hope you noticed that Leah was not as rough as ususal. She didn't swear to much either. It has to do alot with Jacob and the denial feelings she has for him aka she's turning sweet on him an she has no idea, or does she. TTFN


	5. Bizarre Laughing 101

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight or any of the characters associated with Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does.

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**A/N:** Thanks again for all of your R&R's. Sorry it took so long, but i think i got somewhat of a writers block. Funny I'm not even a writer. Hope you like it.

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***Chapter 5***

**Bizarre Laughing 101 **

The race ended of course with Jacob losing. No matter how much he tried to hide it, we all knew very well that, Jacob Black was a sore loser.

_Why don't you get some rest Lee, you look beat._

That wasn't a bad idea. My electric high was running low.

_What are you gonna do?_

He didn't directly answer me. But it's kind of hard to keep things from each other when you're a mystical creature.

_You're going to the Cullen's to check on Bella?_

He started singing the Happy Birthday song in his head, clearly so I can stay out of his head. Jake didn't trust me.

_It's not so much that I don't trust you, it's just… it's just… I don't want you to laugh and make stupid jokes about it. It hurts you know. Yeah you're being nice right now… and its totally freaking me out. _

Was I really that unkind? But I knew the answer to my own question. Yet I have been managing to keep it cool around Jacob. I haven't lost my temper around him, and I think I actually care where he is going and how long he will be. I'm I becoming motherly?

Jacob was just staring at me. He did look freaked out.

_Well… um if it's a motherly vibe that's keeping you nice… then go with it. Hell whatever is keeping Leah Clearwater nice, go with it. _

He was laughing like an idiot. I wanted to get upset. I knew I should get upset. But I didn't. I smiled. Then it turned into a full grown laugh. A laugh that was so bizarre, Jake got scared.

He gave me that freaked out stare again.

I stopped laughing.

_OoooKkkk… Eh… I'm gonna be at the Cullen's. I won't be long. Seth is running patrol. He'll howl if anything and Leah… get some rest will you. _

He left.

I found a nice cozy nest under a tree, perfect for my mid morning nap. A lot of things were going through my head. What was that bizarre laugh earlier? I had never heard it before. I didn't even realize it was me until I noticed Jake's terrified look. Was I losing my anger, my bitchiness? If someone else would have made the comment Jake made I wouldn't have stood for it. They would've been on the ground already. What was going on? My eyes became heavy.

I was asleep.

**

_I was running. The breeze was gently lifting my fur. It felt great. I could smell the forest, the oaks and cedars, the fresh damp dirt, the river in a vibrant rage. I was so much in peace. I was happy. I felt myself flying, running faster and faster. It was bliss._

_I stopped at opening in the forest. But all of a sudden I wasn't in my wolf form anymore. I was human. I didn't remember phasing. Something caught my attention. There was something in the middle of the opening. I couldn't see what it was. I walked towards it; something was pulling me like a magnet. As I approached the thing, I realized it was a baby. What was a baby doing out here, by itself? I picked it up. It was a little girl. She had brown ringlets that matched her eyes completely. But her skin, it was hard and marble like, which made me realize what she was. _

_A vampire. _

_She was warmer than the others. I didn't understand why. Why were her eyes brown? My initial thought was to kill the beast. But I couldn't get over the brown eyes. I placed her down. I turned to walk away. _

"_Aunt Leah, please don't go, I want you to carry me… please Aunt Leah"_

_What the mother of fucking shit. Did that thing just call me Aunt Leah? Did Seth have this beast-zoid…? I'm gonna kill him, what the fuck was he doing having sex anyway, especially with a vamp… I stopped myself. Something inside me was yelling NOT RIGHT, NOT RIGHT, NOT RIGHT… then it dawned on me. _

"_What the fuck… did you just speak?"_

_I was going crazy, I must be. I just couldn't have a moment of joy, could I? I leave Sam's pack, where I was constantly reminded of my imperfections; I come to Jake's pack and go insane. Funny._

_I wonder if I was a serial killer in my past life. _

_Now the baby mutant was no longer a baby but a toddler. How can this be?_

"_Aunt Leah, you know daddy doesn't like it when you curse in front of me."_

"_What do you mean your daddy… who are you? What are you?"_

"_Oh Auntie Lee, your a character." _

_I'm such a character. I'.. This little leech that seems to grow every five seconds says I'm a character. All of a sudden, I heard something behind me. A large russet wolf was heading this way. Jacob._

_Would he attack the miracle grow vampire child? The spawn was easily 10 years old now. How can that be? Vampires don't grow. _

_Jacob came out into the clearing, he had phased. He was wearing nothing but a ragged pair of cut offs. He looked great. I could smell him from where I was standing. Nobody smelled like Jacob. It was a mixture of pine and peppermint. I was so happy to see him. He was my Jacob. He would protect me from whatever this spawn was (as if I needed protecting, but seeing him in those cutoffs, I won't protest). _

_He was looking at me so warmly. He had the sweetest grin on his face. It reminded me of my father. It was just one of those smiles that you know that they love you. Jacob loved me. I was in his pack, he now loved me. _

_He started to run towards me with open arms. I just stood there shocked. Could it be true, Jacob Black loved me, and I loved Jacob Black. _

"_Oh, Jake… I love…"_

_I cut myself off again as I noticed the spawn running towards him. As I saw her, she transformed in front of my eyes. She went from a ten year old, clearly into a teenager and as she meet Jacob's embrace she was fully grown. The spawn took Jacob in her arms. She gently kissed him. _

_Jacob didn't protest. _

_He wasn't looking at me. He didn't love me. He loved her. I felt my heart crack a bit more. I could literally feel physical pain…_

_**_

I opened my eyes. I was a little distraught. I had forgotten where I was. I realized I must have fallen asleep and that I was dreaming. But I didn't understand the dream. My heart was beating rapidly even for a wolf, and with each beat I could feel it. There was a new sore. One that Sam didn't make. This one was fresh. I laid there trying to remember the dream. But it was somewhat unclear. I just remembered one thing.

**_I love Jacob Black._**

(Seth howls)

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**A/N:** Hope you liked it. I hope you noticed that the dream is so unclear for Leah because the Loch Ness monster hasn't been born. Does anyone know why Seth is howling? As always R&R. **TTFN**


	6. Defending Womanhood

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters related to it. They are created and owned by Stephenie Meyer. **

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**Defending Womanhood**

I woke up immediately, I recognized that howl like the back of my hand. It was Seth; someone was attacking my little brother. I quickly got up and ran towards my baby brother.

_Wait for me Seth, I'm almost there_

I heard Jacob phase.

_What is it?_

I caught a glimpse of Bella in his mind. She looked horrible. I bet she will never let that mind radar of a husband touch her again.

_LEAH… Focus_

_There's three coming, one just phased back, and I'm running towards Seth in the speed of light… I'm always focused._

I could hear Seth's howl grow louder and louder until I crashed into the final trees to where he was.

_Why are they separated? Do you think they want to attack? _

_Seth I don't know, it's weird not hearing their thoughts._

They were getting closer and closer, three wolves and one man. All I knew is that Sam wouldn't have the balls to attack, literally.

_Almost there, Seth… Leah… do not challenge them… wait for me._

_Awh… Jakey Poo… I knew you loved us_

_Keep your head in the game, Leah_

My head was in the game. How difficult can this game be? Three wolves and one human VS Three wolves and eight vampires, difficult was an understatement. Jacob arrived in record time, I was happy to see my training was coming to use.

_All right get ready_

They came into our view a few moments later. Jared was in human form while Paul, Quil and Colin where phased. I couldn't help but to think why Sam had chosen to send Colin instead of Embry. A few seconds later it downed on me… a division. Could Sam honestly be that stupid to send someone to distract us while he attacked The Cullens? That didn't seem likely, but then again it was Sam. I think God left him an I.O.U for a brain.

Jacob was just looking at me obviously thinking the same thing as I.

_Do you want me to check? I can run the lines and be back in two minutes…_

_What if the point was to divide us… the Cullens know that something is up. They're ready._

Would Sam really be that stupid? I imagined him attacking… the Cullens would rip my brothers to shreds.

_No… he wouldn't…_

Jacob looked just as terrified as me.

Jared, Paul, Quil and Colin just stared at us as we decided what to do.

Jared cleared his throat, "Jake, white flag for truce, where only here to talk."

_Think it's true _

Seth sounded like if he was ready to fight but scared that it had to be against our former brothers.

_It sounds legit… But…_

Jacob seemed uncertain. He didn't want to fight. Yet my dad always used to say it's the Butts that Gets the Bulls. We continued to wonder what exactly was going on. Why would they send Collin and not Embry.

"You know it would be a lot easier to talk if I can hear you too."

Jacob seemed a little uneasy at Jared request.

_Are you seriously thinking about phasing… this might be a trick. _

I was actually quite surprised Seth was keeping up with what was going on. He usually thinks that everything revolves around flowers and butterflies… My little boy is growing up.

_Leah can you please…_

"Ok… then I guess I'll just talk then." Jared interrupted. "Jake, we want you to come home; you've torn our family apart. It was not meant to be this way."

Quil let out a hurtful howl. I'm sure he must be hurting; he and Jake have been best friends for I don't know how long. Plus I do agree with Embry things are not suppose to be like this.

"We know you feel… strongly about the situation with the Cullens. We know that's a problem, but this Jake, come on bro… your overreacting."

That struck a chord. Jake was not overreacting. So killing innocent babies that had no fault that their mother was a dumbass did not deserve an overreaction. Going and attacking a powerful vampire coven un meditated, knowing that we would probably lose half our pack in the process did not deserve an overreaction. Jake was right and Sam was too busy scratching his "I think I'm so powerful" ass that he can't see it. I mean come on Bella was still human for crying out loud. She was an overly sexual idiot, but still a human. What being Mystical wolves wasn't enough anymore, we had to be murderous too?

I must have gotten a little carried away with my thought, because by the time I knew it Jake and Seth were both staring at me. They looked somewhat confused, yet Seth howled in anger.

_Come on Jake… Lee is right… overreaction my ass… and attacking our allies without warning isn't?_

_Just calm down Seth, damn it… you ever heard of a poker face. _

_Oh shit, sorry. _

Dumbass

Jared looked extremely bewildered.

"Sam is willing to take this slowly, Jacob. He's calmed down, talked to the other Elders. They've decided that immediate action is in no one's best interest at this point."

Translation they already lost the element of surprise.

"Sue and Billy agree with you, Jacob, we can wait for Bella… to separate from the problem. Killing her is uncomfortable for everyone."

That last part was the bombshell for Jacob. He growled louder and angrier then I had ever heard.

… _so there not quite comfortable with murder huh._

_Jake calm down… you just got mad at Seth for losing it._

Jared looked scared, but raised his hands in surrender.

Easy Jake. You know what I mean. The point is we're going to wait and reassess the situation. Decide later if there's a problem with the… thing."

_Ha… I really hope you're not swallowing this crap. Jake I know Sam… there betting on Bella dying anyway and that you will get so mad that you…_

… _that I will lead the attack on the Cullens. _

_Exactly…_

Jacob was in deep thought. He pictured Bella gone, he leading the pack to the Cullen Mansion. He had this peculiar feeling. It was somewhat of a hurt but mostly a defeat. I started to feel it too. I whimpered softly as I felt the pain… it was like the pain I was experiencing… for Jac…

I caught myself, but it was too late. My mind started flashing images of the past dreams I've been having of Jacob.

Jared cleared his throat, probably wondering why Seth and Jacob were staring oddly at me. I myself didn't want to look up.

_Um… well… I'm gonna go run the circuit- just to be sure…_

I took off running before anyone could object. I was totally losing it. What the hell was wrong with me? I know Jacob saw those images in my mind. Seth must have seen them too. Were under somewhat of an attack and I'm thinking about 101 ways to screw my new Alpha. Great.

I was almost done with the circuit run; I shouldn't have run as fast as I did because God knows I didn't want to face Jacob. I slowed down about half a mile from the clearing. I could still hear Seth. Jacob must have phased. I sat on the grass a few seconds trying to figure myself out. I was finally clear to me that I have feeling for Jacob. But why, why him, how long have a felt like this? This was foolish, me and Jacob. I could hear the inner devil inside me singing with laughter "_Jacob and Leah sitting on a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G",_ perfect.

I had to get a grip on myself. I'm Leah Clearwater… I don't fall in love with little boys who are heartbroken because their supposed true love loves a bloodsucker. That's more of an Emily thing.

I started running back to the clearing. When I arrived Jacob was still talking to Jared. It seemed to me that Jacob hadn't given in, which was great, after my extremely dramatic escape from La Push I wasn't going to be dragged back.

Jared eyed me as I returned; I stood in position next to Jacob waiting for any reason to attack. Jacob was still phased so I tried my best to look up and not focus on him.

"Leah?" Jared asked.

I turned and gave him one of my bitches looks.

"Leah, you know you don't want to be here."

Who the hell did he think he was, a mind reading vampire like Cullen, how the fuck would he know what I wanted or not wanted. Stupid little wolf-boys, they always think they know everything.

Seth whined and nudged my shoulder.

_Don't lose your temper_.

"Sorry, I guess I shouldn't assume. But you know you don't have any ties to the bloodsuckers."

I glance over at Seth and Jake. I might not have any ties to the bloodsuckers but I will forever have a tie to my pack.

"So we get that you want to watch over Seth and well (glances at Jacob) maybe do more than that."

What the hell was that?

"But Jake isn't going to let anything happen to him, and he is not afraid to be here. Please Leah. We want you back, Sam wants you back."

What the fuck? I felt myself burning up more than usual, this was going to end badly, and I could feel it. My fur was starting to stand.

"Sam told me to beg, to literally get down on my knees if I had to, he wants you home Lee-Lee… where you belong."

That did it. I could feel Jacob and Seth's eyes on me but I didn't care, that son-of-a bitch had gone too far. What the fuck did he mean that I belonged with them I belong wherever I say I belong, he should just keep his stupid ass good for nothing comments to himself and keep his big dog mouth shut. Asshole.

Jacob and Seth just looked at me. I was surprised they didn't interrupt my venting and told me to control my temper.

Jacob finally looked back to Jared and chuckled, "I'm going to go on a limb here and say… that Leah belongs wherever she wants too."

Finally, somebody is defending my womanhood.

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**A/N: I hope you liked the chapter, thank you so much for waiting. Between my not-a-writer block and the holidays I was starting to worry that I would never post. Hope you like it please R&R. Special thanks to **_**aadarshinah**_** for her cool stories and for helping me realize that my heart was in La Push, WA. TTFN **


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